If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
