Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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