My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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