but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize