Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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