you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
