I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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