After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
