did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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