So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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