it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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