why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The air was thick with penises
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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