i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
