Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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