i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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