You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize