Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
