girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
