How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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