I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
