So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
