Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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