I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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