did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
