Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize