great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
