I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
