What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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