now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
