So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
