is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
