so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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