Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
