he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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