nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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