I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
