You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
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Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize