Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
