if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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