hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
