: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
