Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
