Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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