I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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