nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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