; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
