your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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