just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
