is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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