You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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