My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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