At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
