I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
