what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize