worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
