why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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