Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
