The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
