your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
