I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
