You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let the clothes fall where they may.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.